Noted.

I think that blogging is a difficult thing for me. It often defeats me. How can I summarize this new life--"learning Las Vegas". I guess I need to check my expectations. I cannot make you understand what it is to live my life day in and out, but I can inform you of the major happenings in the balmy southwest.

My classroom has changed significantly since losing a student over my track break. I never thought that I would be a person who joyfully signs withdrawal papers, but apparently I make exceptions. EN leaving was still melancholy. I don't know what will happen with him, I hope that one day he will be able to forgive his mother, understand what his father is and build a life on his intelligence and charisma. At this point that is all that I can give him. Sometimes, I feel like that's all I can do for my students, merely hope for the best. Teaching can be rewarding--whenever I see my students finally understand a concept--but I have found a great portion of it to be unsatisfying. There is nothing tangible at the end of a days work. I can hold a collection of worksheets, but in the end what do those really represent? Oh! to be a surgeon or carpenter or engineer.

If pressed I would say that progress is being made. Since EN left AS has decided to mellow out, mildly, but all the same he is trying. I just wish that I could do more for these kids. Unapologetically, I realize I am writing in circles. If nothing else I am discovering my present limits in my ability which, of course, drives me nuts to have to tell myself that I can't accomplish something. I'll show me?

I think this season of my life is all about learning my person limitations and not getting frustrated by what I can't do, but finding what I can do. What is it that God has for me, truly? Let me know if you've found a shortcut to that answer.

a

Oh, yeah. Happy Valentine's Day.

Reflections

"You should keep a journal of your first year" said one of my co-workers. Done and done. The strange thing is though, of all the years of teaching, from what I've heard, your first year is the most stressful, time-consuming, overwhelming experience of the profession. So with what little experience and insight I have I shall blog.

I have yet to share with you the craziness of the past month. I completed my first set of report cards which, regardless of what is supposed to happen they took me a weekend to complete. I really wish that I could tell parents that your kid is fine--an effective strategy for 75% of my students. For the rest I just want to tell them that we have a lot of work ahead of us, and ask "what's been going on for the past 10 years".

The end of the first trimester provided me with a lot of reflective time. I've decided to modify some things, analyze test scores and push my students more. I'm also still getting acclamated to being in this professional position. I'm fine acting like a professional, but going to work everyday is wearing on me.

I do have to say, however, I couldn't ask for a better collection of people to work with. I think being at a dual language school draws a diverse collection of staff members with such interesting experiences. Or maybe that's just Las Vegas. Vegas is a lot like college in that way--it's not out of the ordinary to ask where someone is from--usually they're not originally from Vegas. Not even my students, most of them are from California or Mexico.

A.S. was in rare form the other day. While teaching math, he decided to erase what I was writing. I told him to sit down and he started writing on the board. I really want Tom Cruise to come into my classroom. I think I can convince him that ADD is a real issue. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty granola (vegetarian, reusable shopping bags, etc) but if my kid has ADD he would be on meds faster than Tom Cruise can jump on a chair. In a classroom of 24 people having a kid with severe ADD is no different than having a kid with schizophrenia. Oh, wait, we shouldn't medicate that either....

In honor of Jo: "But they're not here now, so we don't think about them"

my list.

I decided to make a list of things that I learned this week. I got the idea while I was writing during our Writer's Workshop--a time when everyone in the classroom (me included!) writes for a period of time--I had a tough week and really needed to unload, it was surprisingly therapeutic.

• It is inevitable that I will receive a minimum of one paper cut per day (this was not mentioned to me before I started teaching)
• I currently have 7 paper cuts.
  
• No matter how exciting the lesson, it will always be lame to 5th graders.
• Principals miss teaching.
• I love my students, even the ones that drive me crazy.
• My enthusiasm for certain things may not always be shared by others.
• Biting off more than you can chew may lead to choking.
• My students do not like to answer questions.
• My students will do almost anything for Hot Cheetos.
• Hot Cheetos are disgusting.
• The DMV people in NV do not have a sense of humor.
• I am no longer a part of the "Stay up past 12AM" crowd.
• I am now a part of the "Sleeping in is getting up at 7AM" crowd.
• While money spent towards textbooks and field trips is important, spending a couple grand on a top-of-the-line copier will save the sanity of your staff. That is priceless.
• Getting the digits of a 10 yr old is creepy. (He volunteered them...I was merely the recipient)
  
• When the worst kid in class tells you he moved, you feel sad.
  
• When the worst kid in class tells you he moved, you feel relieved.
• When the worst kid in class tells you he moved, you question his truthfulness (c'mon, you're standing on our school property kid--you haven't withdrawn yet...)
• In Las Vegas, a cold front=clouds.
• Las Vegas + clouds = best sunsets EVER. (The kind you draw in 4th grade)
  
• In Las Vegas, when children see overcast sky they go crazy thinking it will rain. I didn't have the heart to tell them those are the wrong types of clouds.
• It's snowing in Minnesota. (I almost forgot what November weather is like....)
• I don't know if I'll get to use my sweaters this year.
• I'm a good teacher.
  

That last one I'm still coming to terms with. This post is called LearningLasVegas and I don't know that I've officially explained all that it means to me. Clearly it's a play on words--I'm learning about Las Vegas, I'm teaching in Las Vegas--but I think it's more about learning who I am away from that which is comfortable. From the community atmosphere of the Midwest, from Fall and humidity and seeing my family on a regular basis. It's become learning about what God wants from me, trusting that relationship and trusting that while I don't get to talk to my students about Him, that they will get to see a glimpse through me. This week I have been relearning my calling to education. Through that pain, there has been grace and hope that God has given me abilities suited for this position and this is where I'm supposed to be. For now.

A





P.S. These are the approximate colors that we are painting our apartment. The living room is a tan color, the kitchen a light green, the dining room a darker green, my bedroom a dusty blue. Sigh. I think we miss the Midwest. Or Valpo or both.

where I'm from

Where I'm From

I am from 'Oh yah' and 'fer sure'
From knee deep in snow on Halloween
and everything on a stick

I am from stick-to-your-ribs dinners
and black coffee after
From the whole family every Saturday
knocking elbows at the table

I am from life a little slower
a little nicer
I am from deep love and great freedom
my gift

(inspired by George Ella Lynn)

the perfect storm.

Every three weeks, a new group of students prepares to leave for vacation and a new group prepares to come back to school. Those transitions are, very apparently, difficult times. Last Thursday, the year-round school thing bit us all in the butt. It was the last day before students left for vacation, the last day before a long weekend for all, all the 5th grade teachers were sub-ed out for a workshop and the day of a full moon (scientifically proven by teachers and psychiatric clinics everywhere to turn people into crazies). Or as I refer to it, The Perfect Storm. Each classroom, even those with the best classroom management turned into a den of chaos students were sent to the office in droves and multiple students were sent home.

I keep trying to apologize for my student's behavior, but then I realized I can only control my behavior (which, ironically, is what I am constantly telling them...). So if my class decides to transform itself into the looney there is really only so much that I can do.

I fled to Phoenix. I prefer it here. They have coffee shops at which I can blog. It's pretty much like heaven.

A

as promised.

I here are more pictures. These are from when Thomas was here--we went to Red Rock Canyon and the Bellagio Fountains--the most opposite experiences Vegas has to offer.

This is the city as seen from Red Rock Canyon. Seriously more impressive in person.

This is why they call it Red Rock. Genius in action.

Thomas and me--self-portrait (Thomas took charge of this one, thankfully)

The Bellagio, er, Fountains. Pre-fountainness.

This was a cool accident down on the Strip.

Back at Red Rock--Hey Valpo! Check it out, Sand Dunes in Vegas.

A really nice couple took our picture and they didn't even take our camera, golly!

I'm thinking about contacting Pontiac with this picture--my little Sweet Tomato (that's what I'm calling her)

This is my classroom before the students got into it too much. It's changed already to groups of four. We're making it work.

and so it goes.

The visit with Tyler and Thomas was really fun. I have pictures to post, but clearly you'll have to wait as my timeliness is not a skill I excel at yet. Tyler, Karen, Ben and I went on another hike to Mount Charleston which I think is Vegas' redeeming quality. Thomas and I went to Red Rock which is a hike for people who don't like to hike. No hills, just pretty.

Thomas' surprise was that Karen and I got tickets to go see the Producers. That was fun, I didn't really like the show (Tony Danza should quickly end his singing career) but I do like the people I went with.

School, needless to say, has consumed my life. I am annoyed by that fact although I anticipated it. I just feel like I don't have enough time for me or any other relationships. So today I'm making time for some and not thinking about school, well, except to blog about it(?). I failed. Oh well. I also read a book today, "The 7 Secrets of Teaching" (or something like that, it's on the other couch and I'm not about to get up to look at it). Overall, it was really helpful and informative but mostly I enjoy telling people that I read an entire book today. I think that's neat. It's makes me feel terribly productive and intelligent even though it really means nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I think one of the biggest lessons that I've learned over the past three months is that while you are starting your first year of teaching you need to cling to the successes in you life and forgive yourself for your failures. There will be both, but understand the difference between the two and using them to improve your teaching will keep you from frustration and burn out. Well, that and taking Midol at appropriate times. (That might be another story...)

Late September and October are the best months to be in Vegas (I'm sure March, April and May will be similar). The temps have stayed a pleasant 75-85 degrees with a good cool down at night. We don't have our AC on because it's such a dry heat, it stays really comfortable (and even a tiny bit chilly a night so you can really snuggle in your comforter). If you ever decide to take a trip to Vegas, definitely do it in the Fall.

Time to do laundry....the fun never stops here!

A